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What Should the Minimum Income of a Family of 4 Be

What Number of Kids Makes Parents Happiest?

Cipher? Iii? Half dozen? two.1?

An photo of six children sitting in order of height
C. M. Bell / Library of Congress / Katie Martin / The Atlantic

Bryan Caplan is an economist and a dad who has thought a lot about the joys and stresses of being a parent. When I asked him whether there is an ideal number of children to take, from the perspective of parents' well-being, he gave a perfectly sensible response: "I'm tempted to start with the evasive economist answer of 'Well, in that location's an optimal number given your preferences.'"

When I pressed him, he was willing to play along: "If you have a typical level of American enjoyment of children and y'all're willing to actually adapt your parenting to the evidence on what matters, then I'll say the right answer is four."

Four does happen to be the number of children Caplan himself has. But he has a rationale for why that number might apply more mostly. His interpretation of the research on parenting, which he outlines in his 2011 volume, Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids, is that many of the time- and money-intensive things that parents do in hopes of helping their children succeed—loading them upwards with extracurriculars, sending them to private school—don't actually contribute much to their future earnings or happiness.

In other words, many parents make parenting unnecessarily dreadful, so maybe, Caplan suggests, they should revisit their child-rearing approach and so, if they tin beget to, consider having more kids, because kids can be fun and fulfilling. No sophisticated math brought him to the number four. "It's just based upon my sense of how much people intrinsically like kids compared to how much needless suffering they're doing," he said. Caplan fifty-fifty suspects that more than four would be optimal for him.

The prompt I gave to Caplan, of course, has no unmarried correct response. There are multiple, sometimes conflicting, ways of evaluating the question of how many kids is best for one family: from the perspective of parents, of children, and of lodge. These various lines of inquiry warrant a tour of what's known, and what isn't, about how the size of a family shapes the lives of its members.

* * *

A handful of studies have tried to pinpoint a number of children that maximizes parents' happiness. One report from the mid-2000s indicated that a second child or a tertiary didn't make parents happier. "If yous want to maximize your subjective well-being, you should stop at one child," the study'due south author told Psychology Today. A more recent report, from Europe, found that two was the magic number; having more than children didn't bring parents more joy.

In the United States, nearly half of adults consider ii to be the ideal number of children, co-ordinate to Gallup polls, with three as the side by side well-nigh popular option, preferred by 26 percent. Two is the favorite across Europe, too.

Ashley Larsen Gibby, a Ph.D. educatee in sociology and demography at Penn State, notes that these numbers come with some disclaimers. "While a lot of [the] prove points to 2 children being optimal, I would exist hesitant to brand that claim or generalize it past Western populations," she wrote to me in an email. "Having the 'normative' number of children is likely met with more support both socially and institutionally. Therefore, maybe 2 is optimal in places where two is considered the norm. However, if the norm inverse, I think the answer to your question would change as well."

The two-child ideal is a major difference from half a century ago: In 1957, only 20 percent of Americans said the ideal family meant two or fewer children, while 71 percentage said it meant three or more. The economy seems to have played some part in this shift. Steven Mintz, a historian at the University of Texas at Austin and the author of Huck's Raft: A History of American Childhood, says that the ideal during the Baby Smash was in the neighborhood of three, four, or five children. "That number plummeted every bit the cost of rearing children rose and equally more women entered the workforce and felt a growing sense of frustration about beingness reduced to childbearing machines," he said.

The costs of raising children are not just financial. "As a parent who prizes his own mental and physical health," says Robert Crosnoe, a sociology professor who is also at the University of Texas at Austin, "I had to terminate at two, because this new style of intensive parenting that people feel they have to follow these days really wears 1 out." (He added: "I am glad, nonetheless, that my parents did not recollect this way, as I am the third of three.")

At the same time, having only one kid ways parents miss out on the opportunity to have at to the lowest degree 1 boy and one daughter—an arrangement they have tended to adopt for one-half a century, if not longer. (Couples are mostly more probable to stop having children once they accept one of each.) Maybe this is some other reason two is such a popular number—though in the long run, one researcher plant that having all girls or all boys doesn't meaningfully affect the happiness of mothers who wanted at least 1 of each. (This researcher didn't look at dads' preferences.)

Merely enough of people want more or fewer than two kids. In general, the experts I consulted agreed that the optimal number of children is specific to each family'southward desires and constraints. "When a couple feels similar they have more interest in kids; more energy for kids; maybe more support, like grandparents in the expanse; and a decent income, and then having a large family unit tin can be the best option for them," says Brad Wilcox, the managing director of the University of Virginia'southward National Marriage Project. "And when a couple has fewer resources, either emotional, social, or fiscal, so having a smaller family unit would be all-time for them."

What happens when there's a gap between parents' desires and reality? Per the General Social Survey, in 2018, forty percent of American women ages 43 to 52 had had fewer children than what they considered ideal. "Part of the story hither is that women are having children later in life, compared to much of man history, and they're getting married later in life equally well," Wilcox says. "And then those two things mean that at the stop of the day, a fair number of women end up having fewer kids than they would like to, or they cease up having no kids when they hoped to accept children."

Though the root causes can differ, this mismatch between hope and actuality is seen worldwide, and appears to make women measurably less happy. And then while people's ideal family size may vary—and is highly individualized—they'll probably exist happiest if they hit their target, whatever information technology may exist.

* * *

Perhaps the most meaningful difference isn't a matter of going from one to two children, or two to three, but from zero to one—from nonparent to parent.

"Having just i kid [makes] diverse aspects of adults' lives—how time, money, emotion, and mind are used and how new social networks are formed—child-centered," says Kei Nomaguchi, a sociologist at Bowling Green State University. "If y'all want to enjoy adult-centered life, dearest expensive leisure activities, cherish intimate relationships with your partner, and both you and your partner want to devote your fourth dimension to your careers, aught kids would exist the ultimate."

Mothers, of class, stand to lose more than than fathers when they have kids in their household. Having children is more stressful for women than it is for men, and mothers endure professionally later on having children in a way that fathers don't (though parents' happiness does seem to vary based on their country's policies about paid get out and child intendance). In these regards, too, null is practiced.

Whether the optimal number of children is greater than nil is a question many researchers accept tried to address, and the sum of their work points to a range of variables that seem to affair.

One recent paper suggested that becoming a parent does indeed make people happier, equally long as they can afford it. And a 2014 review of existing research, whose authors were skeptical of "overgeneralizations that most parents are miserable or that nearly parents are joyful," detected other broad patterns: Being a parent tends to be a less positive feel for mothers and people who are immature, single, or have immature children. And it tends to be more than positive for fathers and people who are married or who became parents later in life.

What'due south optimal, and then, depends on age, life stage, and family unit makeup—in other words, things that are subject to change. While beingness the parent of a immature child may not seem to maximize happiness, parenthood may be more than enjoyable years downwards the line.

Indeed, Bryan Caplan believes that when people think well-nigh having children, they tend to dwell on the early years of parenting—the stress and the sleep deprivation—but undervalue what family life will be like when their children are, say, 25 or 50. His communication to those who suspect they might be unhappy without grandchildren someday: "Well, in that location's something yous can do correct now in order to reduce the risk of that, which is just have more kids."

* * *

Parents may determine that a certain number of children is going to maximize their happiness, only what about the happiness of the children themselves? Is at that place an optimal number of siblings to have?

Generally speaking, as much as brothers and sisters bicker, relationships between siblings tend to be positive ones. In fact, at that place'southward evidence that having siblings improves immature children'southward social skills, and that good relationships between adult siblings in older age are tied to better health. (One study even found a correlation between having siblings and a reduced gamble of getting a divorce—the idea being that growing upwards with siblings might requite people social toolkits that they can use later on in life.)

There is, however, at least one less salutary effect: The more siblings one has, the less educational activity 1 is likely to get. Researchers have for decades discussed whether "resources dilution" might be at play—the idea that when parents take to divvy upwards their resources among more children, each child gets less. Under this framework, going from having nada siblings to having ane would be the well-nigh damaging, from a child'due south perspective—his or her claim to the household's resources shrinks past one-half.

Only this theory doesn't actually hold up, not least because children with one sibling tend to become farther in school than only children. "Resource dilution is attractive because information technology's intuitive and parsimonious—information technology explains a lot with a simple explanation—just it's probably too uncomplicated," says Douglas Downey, a sociologist at Ohio State University. "Many parental resource are probably non finite in the way the theory describes."

A pocket-sized example: Parents can read books to ii children at once—this doesn't "dilute" their limited fourth dimension. A larger one: Instead of splitting upwardly a stock-still pile of cash, parents might start saving differently if they know they're going to pay two kids' college tuitions instead of one'due south. "They put a bigger proportion of their coin toward kids' education and less toward new golf clubs," Downey explains.

And if parents are enmeshed in a strong community that helps them raise their kids, they have more resource than simply their own to rely on. In a 2016 study, Downey and two other researchers found that the negative correlation between "sibship size" and educational outcomes was three times as strong in Protestant families every bit in Mormon ones, which often take a more communal approach to raising children. "When child development is shared more than broadly with nonparents, sibship size matters less," Downey and his fellow researchers wrote.

The gender mix of siblings tin can be a factor too. "In places with strong preferences for sons over daughters, at that place is some evidence that girls with older sisters are the worst off in terms of parental investments (e.g. school fees, medical care, peradventure even nutrient/diet)," Sarah Hayford, a colleague of Downey'southward at Ohio State, noted in an email.

Siblings, then, tin can exist a mixed purse. It's probably folly to try to game out but how many kids volition give each 1 the best life. But Caplan has a simple theory for how to optimize children's happiness: "The most of import affair in your life is your parents deciding to have you in the first place. Each kid is some other person that gets to be alive and will be very probable to be glad to be alive."

* * *

Thinking about what's best for any individual household is more than subjective and nuanced than what number of kids would exist best for the broader guild. When it comes to ensuring that a given society's population is steady in the long run, demographers don't merely have a number (an boilerplate of 2.1 births per woman, roughly) simply a proper noun for it: "replacement-level fertility."

Sometimes, populations deviate from this replacement-level charge per unit in a way that stresses out demographers. "Zilch guarantees that the number of children that is proficient for me is also skilful for the guild," said Mikko Myrskylä, the executive director of the Max Planck Establish for Demographic Research, in Rostock, Germany.

"Very depression fertility," Myrskylä wrote in an email, "creates a situation in which over time the share of working-age population compared to the elderly population becomes small, and this may present a challenge for social arrangements such as the social security organization." Japan's population, for instance, has been shrinking in the past decade, and its growing elderly population and depression fertility rate (ane.43 births per woman) have its government worried about the sustainability of its workforce and social-benefits programs.

"Very high fertility," Myrskylä continued, "in particular when mortality is low, creates a speedily growing population, which requires expansion in the infrastructure and consumes increasingly large amounts of resources." In Nigeria, the regime has attempted to lower its high fertility charge per unit by increasing access to contraceptives and touting the economic advantages of smaller family units.

Only families don't base their desire for children on a society'southward optimal number. In many countries in central and West Africa—such as Senegal, Mali, and Cameroon—the desired family size for many young women is 4 to six children, says John Casterline, a demographer at Ohio State who has conducted inquiry in the region. This number has stayed relatively high even equally people accept attained college average levels of education—a shift that, in Asia and Latin America, for example, is usually accompanied by a shrinking of the hoped-for size of families.

It'south non entirely clear why women's expectations in these parts of the globe haven't changed equally those of women in other regions have. One judge, Casterline says, has to do with how family is conceptualized. "A lot of things in life are perceived every bit a collective attempt of a large extended kin group, for the sharing of resource and labor, so that diminishes the personal cost of having a kid," he told me. "It'southward diffused amidst a larger grouping of people." For instance, maybe one child is particularly precipitous, and then his relatives save up to send him to college—"a sort of corporate collective try," as Casterline put information technology—and hope that he gets a high-paying urban job and can help support them.

Another possibility: "In that location was ever the upshot of protecting yourself against mortality," Casterline said, referring to the possibility that a kid might non make it into adulthood. He said that child mortality rates in many parts of the world have declined a lot in the past few decades. Merely they're still loftier, and the impulse to hedge against them might linger. "'How many babies practise I need to have now if I'd like to have three adult children in 30 years?'" says Jenny Trinitapoli of the University of Chicago, describing the thought process. "That depends on the mortality rates."

But these explanations aren't definitive. Some hard-to-quantify preferences also seem to be playing a role. Casterline remembered conducting surveys in Arab republic of egypt a decade or and then ago, and listening to Egyptians talk over the merits of having three children versus two. "At that place was some indifference, simply there was a real feeling that it's more of a family—it feels better—to have three children rather than two, because so much of their social life is family gatherings, and having aunts and uncles and cousins," he says. "And if you lot have three kids, you lot become a lot more of that."

But as the economy and makeup of a lodge changes, then do people's preferences, and in that sense, the United States is a telling example. At the start of the 19th century, the typical wife had seven to 10 children, only by the start of the 20th, that number had fallen to three. Why? "Children were no longer economic assets who could be put to work," says Mintz, the historian of childhood.

And some aspects of society are designed to piece of work best for families of a certain size—a standard car in America, for instance, comfortably fits iv people. (Mintz notes that in the '50s and '60s, sedans could seat six, because they typically had bench seats and lacked a center console.) Hotels, too, come up to mind: One time a family has more people than can fit in ii double beds, it's time to consider booking another room.

After accounting for what a given society is like, and what a given household inside that gild is like, one could very well make up one's mind the optimal number of children to have. But those considerations are less compelling and more clinical when compared with the joy people take when they see a child concur his baby sister for the start time; attend an enormous, rowdy family reunion; or plan a beatific getaway without having to worry nigh who will spotter the children. Those are the moments that feel truly optimal.

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Source: https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2019/05/optimal-best-number-of-children/588529/

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